November-20-2008

Here's what pisses me off about dating. After work i went to Denny's because I wanted a meal that took longer than 27 seconds to make. When I walked to my table, I could see that the girl at the table across from me was waiting for someone in the bathroom. I had to go to the bathroom, and I was right, the guy she was with was in there. But I didn't think anything of any of these factors at the time.

So, as I tend to do at Denny's, I sat in my booth, doing a crossword puzzle, and (as I can't help but do) listening to people talk. Eventually my focus landed on the aforementioned couple. I could tell that this was a first date, especially evident because neither of them took off their jackets, and it was about 400 degrees in there for some reason (even i took my BDU shirt off, and you're not supposed to do that in a public place). The girl seemed okay, but the guy was a total goober.

This schmo sat there talking nervously about internet hackers and how his friend knows a lot about computers. I wasn't even involved in the conversation and I found it to be tedious, and she clearly did too. Eventually this guy started dealing out TMI info, and then caught himself and after a long pause, then decided to not finish his story. I was dying just listening to this guy sink himself.

But here's the kicker. So the guy wisely turns over conversation control to the girl, who ends up talking about how she's excited to see the new Friday the 13th movie (me too!). She then goes on about how much she likes different horror movie villians and why, and how she's a big fan of horror movie trivia (ARG!). So here's this weiner wasting this girl's time, when 4 feet away is someone (me) who she coulda had a rousing conversation with, and wouldn't leave her alone at the table (big dating No-No, go pee before you pick her up). I'm not claiming to be a super dater, but I'm the freakin' Love Master compared that that soggy dorrito. Nah, bad analogy, Dorritos have good flavor... Soggy piece of cardboard. I'm sure ol' Soggy's friends will be glad he got a date, but the contents of it were shameful. And here I am, bitching about it on my web site. In a fight though,i think I'd still come out as the less off-putting one.



November-11-2008

I got "Call Of Duty: World At War" today. Awesome! Even though it was made by a different developer, the main gameplay aspects that made CoD4 so much fun are still there. In Multiplayer, things like the in-game Expeience meter, local radar, and Custom gear setups are just like you remember or better. Aircraft surveilence, and air raids are still part of the "kill streak perks", but this time, instead of a helicopter attack, you can send out dogs to attack enemy players. This is actually pretty cool, becasue the dogs are pretty deadly, but if you see them comming, you can shoot them at the last second and get 3 points. The dogs keep comming for a certain amount of time. As other players respawn, a dog respawns with them and runs out to find enemies, so now there's a reason to not kill enemies soldiers, making the perk even more deadly for the defending team.

Single Player mode is just as good as in CoD4, with characters to care about, a story that matters, and rarely a feeling of "what do I do now?" The Japanese soldiers, as promissed by the developer, are very cunning. Head-shots are the best way to kill them, because anything else will result in them either pulling out a pistol (like the last-stand perk) or crawling to the nearest gun to keeping firing back. Some will play dead, and wait for you to walk by before they attack (which leads you to ritualistically go through a battlefield and shoot bodies just in case). Sometimes they hide in trees and snipe you, or they hide in the grass waiting for an ambush. Very tricky enemy this time around, you really gotta "kill em till their dead".

The trophies system in this one is different from other games. In this one, you get Silver Trophies for completing missions on any difficulty, and bronze throphies if you complete them on a hard difficulty. This is kinda backwards compared to other games, but it makes sense to me. This way if you play through on Hard the first time around, you can get a lot of Trophies at once, or,if you're a Trophy-hound (like me) your rabbid addiction will cause you to play multiple times for that little extra bump in points. BTW, I have something around 210 Trophies at the moment, I'm a sick sick person, lol. I had the day off today, and since I've been meanign to see "Saw V", I decided to check it out today. This one was by far my least favorite, and for many reasons. The two main things that annoyed me about this one was that the antagonist (revealed at the end of the 4th film) is so unlikable and such a douche-nozzle that it kinda ruined the feel of the series for me. The other thing is that watching one of the dectectives try and solve the case (who, himself survived one of Jigsaw's games) was so tediously boring that I actually caughtmyself almost falling asleep in the theater. I've noticed that the SAW movies have been gradually turning into a copy of CSI, a show that I avidly hate.

I think that Saw is one of the many movie franchises that should have stopped after the first film. The first Saw was so good that it thwarted every audience expection in the best way possible. The first time I saw it, my friend told me that I would never figure out who the "killer" was, and he was right. I thought for sure that I knew who it was, and I was 100% wrong, but in a way that didn't make me think "oh that's stupid", it made me think "Holy Crap! I NEVER saw that comming!" Plus, the movie was faithful to it's original plot right to the end. As I often complain about, too many movies break away from the original plot late in the movie. This is especially true for any competition-based movie. Any tournament or high-stakes situation will always get tossed aside right before the end in favor of a no-rules duel with explosions. Saw followed a strict set of rules from beginning to end, and the result that movie-goers were waiting for was "will following the rules pay-off, and at what expense?" And it worked, beautifully.

Saw II followed a similar setup, but suffered from a less-interesting game (which had so many broken rules that it kinda got ruined), and the fact that it starred Donnie Wahlberg, like anyone cares.

Saw III had horrible writing, and focused so intently on the police that it was a drag to watch. Plus, in this one, the gmaes had been tampered with and became un-winnable (as Jigsaw put it), and so there was nothing to hope for. The whole movie was basically an excuse to show people getting brutally killed.

Saw IV was better, but still not that great. Too much time spent with the police, and the main characters weren't likeable, but the games were more interesting.

I read that despite this movie being billed as the last one, there are plans for a 6th due to too many plot holes still to be filled-in. Lets hope it doesn't suck next year.



October-23-2008

A while back I made a comment about how PlayStation's "Trophies" was stupid and anyone who participated was a huge loser. Welp, consider me a huge loser. I'm hooked on Trophies like frat boys on Maxim magazine. I have more trophies than anyone I know. Of all the people on my friends list, only two others have trophies, one has 4 and the other 19. I have 139. The lengths I've gone to to get that many is pretty appalling in itself. I bought two games, one didn't support Trophies, and so it's gathering dust now. Most trohpies lately are just tedious to get, but some games made it really fun. WarHawk in particular was difficult, but lots of fun to get trophies for, because the task required wasn't impossible, it just took some ingenuity. Many games reward hard work with crap trophies, while others are a breeze. Some games offer Platinum Trophies, which are next to impossible to get. If I had nothing but time to sit around and play games, I'd get them eventually, but my patience is just a tad too short for that, and I'm patient as hell.

The game of the moment is Dead Space. It's a survival horror game that takes place in a space ship that has been overrun with an alien infestation. Many years ago I read an editorial article in a game magazine about how scarey games rely too much on "Boo!" tactics, but admitted that there aren't many alternatives. Well, this game figured it out. I've found that even though the monsters in the game are scarey, fighting them isn't an agonizing process, nor is navigating the game. This games thrives on suspense. Alfred Hitchcock once talked about how a movie has to manage the suspense factor. He said that if suspense is a bomb, the director must decide if the bomb immediatly explodes, hesitates to explode, or never explodes at all. This game does all three. Sometimes you'll just be walking down a hallway and RAH! Monster! Other times you'll catch a glimpse of a monster, but when you turn the corner it's gone, and then RAH! Then, sometimes you'll catch a glimpse of a monster, or hear a monster, but then you never see it again. Sometimes the music will change, but to no end or result. Sometimes you'll hear voices, or see something move, but nothing's there. When you come near an item that you can pick up, your suit's computer makes a sound, and then points out the item. Lately I've found that the suit just makes the sound randomly, but doesn't point anything out, and I'm quite sure that it's intentional. Eventually you become so friggin' paranoid that you have to stop moving to determine if you're hearing a monster's footsteps or your own. Usually it's your own. This isn't the scariest game I've ever played, but it does have me looking over my shoulder from time to time. It was really great last night what I was paranoid as hell while playing the game and the friggin' power went out. I was feeling really good about that, ya know, suddenly being in the pitch dark and eerie silence while being in a tense, nervous state. Woo! Feelin' good about life!

That's it for now.



October-16th-2008

For most of my life I've loosely followed video game magazines, starting in the early 90's with Sega Visions. In 1997 I started subscriptions with several magazines so that I could stay on top of the industry, and also because that was the era when you had to read about the latest game secrets every month, instead of just looking them up on the internet.

The best ones were Electronic Gaming Monthly, and PSM (PlayStation Magazine/Monthly, which is now PlayStation The Official Magazine, not to be confused with the now defunct The Official PlayStation Magazine), and Tips & Tricks, which was mostly cheat codes. Nintendo Power has always been around, but I don't care about them. The two crappy magazines were Next Generation (long dead) and GamePro. Since I started working where I am now, I've been reading game magazines a lot, and pick up all the ones that have anything to do with PlayStation. EGM and PSTOM (formerly PSM) are still the best, and GamePro still sucks.

When I say that GamePro sucks, I mean it in every way. Their news is old, their writing is generic, and it feels like the people who make it are fan-boys more interested in being game authorities than actually making a good magazine. It's not that it's put together poorly, but compared to others like it, it's nowhere near as good. Magazines like EGM flow nicely, you can read it cover to cover and not get confused. GamePro on the other hand, is more like a mish-mash of articles squeezed together where ever they can fit them, and the articles contain contradicting or confusing text. For example, in this month's issue, they did an article called "Brutal Legend: Gears of War 2". So the article was about Gears of War 2, and called Brutal Legend. This is stupid, because there's a game comming out soon called "Brutal Legend". It's as if nobody proof reads these things. This was the case 11 years ago, and it still is today.

Despite all of this, I still read it (read like red, past-tense), but begrudgingly. A few months ago I noticed something odd in the Reviews section that I had never seen in a multi-platform magazine before, so I wrote them a letter:

I noticed in several issues of GP that in your reviews, you only list one platform that the games are available for, even if they are multi platform. For example, in the August issue Battlefield Bad Company and Grid were both listed as XBOX 360 games, when both are available for PS3 as well. The only way I can see this validated is that you're listing the system that you tested the game on. If so, you should point that out, as I'd actually like to know that info, while also listing what other systems the games are available for.

The next day, i continued to read the magazine, and in the Letters section, I spotted this entry from a reader:

GamePro like the XBOX 360 more than the PS3?: Why is it when GamePro evaluates a game that's available for the PS3 and the Xbox 360, you review the Xbox 360 version first, and not the one for the PS3?

"A valid question!" I thought to myself, "let's read GamePro's response."

While it may seem that GamePro (and others) favor Xbox 360 reviews first and foremost, the reality is the Xbox 360 is typically the lead platform when it comes to developing multi-system games because more people own an Xbox 360 right now than a PS3. As a result, developers start with the Xbox 360 version, then port it to others like the PS3-as a result, they usually send out the Xbox 360 version for review. There are a handful of developers who decide to develop first on the PS3 (and sometimes even on the Wii) before porting to other consoles: but for right now, the Xbox 360 remains the lead development platform of choice.

So what they're saying is that they list the version that they reviewed, much like I suggested, yet they don't point that out at all in the reviews section. They also imply that they only list Xbox 360 because it's the industry leader at the moment. So I wrote again:

Yesterday I sent you a letter asking about why you only list XBOX 360 as the platform for games that are multi-platform in your reviews. I later saw that someone else already asked the question, and your response just about blew my mind. George W. Bush does a better job of explaining away bullshit than that. The average person doesn't follow video game news, so they often don't know what system a game is going to be on. I can't begin to tell you how many 360 owners told me they were going to get MGS4. Listing only XBOX 360 for a multiplatform game would lead not just the uninformed, but news followers like myself to believe that those games were exclusive to that system. The only reason I knew that some of those games were also on PS3 is because I own them. By only giving XBOX 360 credit for multi-platform games because they are selling more systems is giving them more power by misleading casual readers into believing that PS3 has substantially less games than they actually do. As a magazine that covers all platforms, it's your journalistic duty to be unbiased, and give credit where it's due in all cases. Hell, even PlayStation: TOM acknowledges when a game is also on XBOX 360. Maybe you all can justify such a horridly biased decision as that, but I, and fellow PS3 owners certainly can't. You have most definitely lost a reader.

Of course I have to eat it ont hat last line because I bought the latest issue when I saw that they printed my letter. My disgust witht he rest of the magazine is still such that I didn't even want to read the rest of it, I got it so that I could relay the edited version of my letters and their response (exactly as printed):

Give credit where credit is due
I noticed in several issues of GamePro that you only list one platform for a reviewed game, even though said game may be multiplatform and available on several other systems. Why? The only reason I can see is that you're listing the system that you tested a game on. If so, you should point that out-as I'd actually like to know that info-while also listing what other systems the games are available for. The average person doesn't follow video game news, so they often don't know what system a game is going to be on. As a magazine that covers all platforms, it's your journalistic duty to be unbiased, and give credit where it's due in all cases.
Mohan-Via Cyberspace

Thanks for your feedback, Mohan. Traditionally, we only list the platforms that we've actually reviewed to avoid confusion; if we only reviewed the Xbox 360 version, for example, we don't include the PS3 platform logo because we don't want people to think that the review covers both. I don't agree that not doing so reflects negatively on our journalistic credibility or makes us biased in anyway, but you raise a good point and we will look into your suggestion of listing other available platforms as well.

I feel like that basically says, "You're an asshole, we do our job just fine, stop sending us e-mails." Well, jerks tend to think that they're leaders, killers tend to think that they're problem solvers, and terrorists tend to think that they're freedom fighters. So the concept of a biased person thinking that they're fair seems easy to swallow. People can always justify their wrong-doings in a way that makes sense to them, and think that you're an idiot if you disagree.

This is an easy problem to fix, and doesn't require any looking into. EGM lists the primary console, and then the secondaries next to it, for example, "Xbox 360 (also on PS3, PS2, and Wii)." That's all I ask. Is this a stupid thing to get riled-up over? You bet it is, but at least I can admit to my faults, unlike a certain crappy magazine called GamePro.



October-11-2008

Movie time! I went and had myself a double feature today, and I watched another movie last night. Last night I watched "The Happening" by M. Night Shyamalan, which got horrible reviews, but interested me with it's concept. The reviews were right, but only to a certain degree. The acting was either bad, or written to be hokey. The story goes that plants begin emitting a toxin that causes people to want to kill themselves. The people start talking nonsense, stop moving, walk backwards, and then take the first opportunity they see to kill themselves. Mark Wahlberg is a science teacher who, with the aid of a botanist, discovers that the plants only attack people in groups, and so each group spreads out more and more. Eventually though it begins attacking single people. The movie may have had bad acting, but it was genuinly scarey. I found myself looking over my shoulder at some points. Worth a rent if you ask me.

Today I first saw "Quarantine." As a survival movie fan, this was my kind of movie, and with zombie-esque baddies, it was right up my alley. The idea in this one is that a new strain of rabies was discovered, and the origins were traced back to an apartment building where the first infected animal lived. As the government is moving in to close-off the building, the police and fire departments get a call about strange screams comming from, you guessed it, that building. On top of that, the fire fighters who respond to the call are being filmed for a documentary of some sort. So as the rescue team and film crew are in the building, the government locks it down and traps everyone inside. The rules of this infection are like that of zombies, menaign that the infection is spread through bites and scratches, and turns the infected into flesh craving animals, and the onyl way to kill them is to destroy the brain or central nervous system. The difference is that there's no walking dead, they're all alive the whole time. The whole movie is done like Cloverfield, 100% shoulder-cam. I honestly thought that it was pretty good, but lacked a really plausible reason for the cause of the infection. I don't want to give anything away, but it was like a combination of Resident Evil, and Resident Evil 4, if that makes any sense, which I don't think it does. Anyway, good movie, I'll buy it when it hits DVD.

Next I saw "Blindness", which is also a survival movie, but in a more round-about way. The story goes that a man goes blind while driving, and is helped by numerous people. He goes to an eye doctor, who cna't fi8nd anything wrong with him. The next day, everyone who encountered the man goes blind, including the optomitrist. The government sees that the copndition is contageous, and takes anyone infected to a quarantine facility (lots of quarantining lately, huh?), wherre they have ot take care of themselves, as anyone who touches them would go blind too. Julianne Moore is the wife of the optomitrist, and tells the government that she's blind so that she can go with him and keep him safe. She ends up in the facility with the original blind man and all the poeple who helped him, plus the patients of the optomitrist who saw him after the first blind man. Julianne Moore is inexplicably immune to the infection, and acts as caretaker for everyone in the facility, untill too many poeple come in. Eventually a coup starts, and a group of jerks, aided by a naturally blind man, take over the facility. After this, things get crazy, and it turns into Lord of the Flies, except with tons of rape. I'm sure that this movie had to fight pretty hard to avoid an NC-17 rating, it's pretty well loaded with nudity and blind people sex, not to mention one women gets killed durring a mass raping. Eventually the enitre world gets hit by the infection, and everything goes full-on dooms day. The movie is good, but the mass rapings were unnecessary, and is the main reason why I won't be buying this movie when it comes out. I understand that the film-makers wanted to convey how inhuman and horrible the conditions were, but Moore's character had the ability to stop it from ever happening, but instead let it go on without a fight untill the one woman got killed. Dumb.

On a lighter note, i did get to play alot of pinball between movies.



September-11-2008

So I was looking around on YouTube at some street fighter videos, and came across a video displaying Akuma in the new Street Fighter 4 game. In case you didn't know, I've been itching for this game to come out for a long time, and was particularly excited to see how Akuma would be portrayed in this installment. Well, the game has been released in arcades, and people have already managed to get to Akuma.

In case you didn't know, Akuma is the end-all be-all of Street Fighter characters. He's so fast and so strong that beating him is supposed to be by pure luck. Well, the guy playing the game in the video whooped his ass using Ken. I thought that maybe it was a pro doing the playing, so i found another video where one of the brand new characters, Abel, fights Akuma. Again, Akuma gets destroyed. Ummm, this isn't supposed to be happening. Akuma should be wiping the floor with his opponents. This causes much confusion and doubt in me.

I would sit here and philosophize, btu i need to go to bed. Arg.



August-30-2008

Back when I was younger, which was not too long ago, I felt the need to launch my car at every red light. I felt the need to speed past everyone and change lanes with inches to spare. I'd never let anyone pass me, even if it meant doing 75 in a 30. I never got into an accident, I never got so much as a nick or a dent in my cars. It seemed like I could easily get away with driving like this. But then something came along, a little show called Initial D. From there I expanded my knowledge of driving, and learned what it really means to be a good driver. I took it very seriously, bought Hoagie's Miata, and began traning.

Many people who have ridden with me in my car say that I "drive crazy." One of my friends often tries to mimic my driving when we meet in traffic, but he he doesn't mimic me at all. Instead he mimics what he thought he felt in my car. I rarely speed, yet when he tries to drive like me, he drives excessively fast...

Tonight I went down to WalMart to get some things. While I was there I grabbed a couple 12-packs of soda. I loaded up my car and left. The way home is a long straight road, with a sharp right at an intersection, followed by another long straight road leading up to my housing complex. I should also note that the roads vary between 2 and 3 lanes in either direction.

As I was driving up the first street I was in the front of the traffic pack, moving along normally. Suddenly, I see rally lights dart out from behind me and come racing up on my left. It was a Subaru, not a notable model, but an early 2000's build. I let him get in front of me, and he took off. He came to a red light, and I rolled up behind him. He had a fart can installed, and was revving the engine at a cavalier that was in the turning lane (yeah). The light turned green,a nd he jumped off the line. I decided to see just how good his engine was, and kept up with him till 40mph (the speed limit), and then he took off, doing about 55mpg. My theory was that his engine was 5% more powerful than mine at best, so his fart can was clearly the only real mod. But lets not forget, it is an AWD car, it does have a strong handling advantage.

Comming up to the end of the road, I could tell that he was planning to take the same right turn as me. It's a sharp turn, but the sidewalk curves with it smoothly, with a drainage gutter along the edge. This was my attack point.

You may be wondering "if this guy's such a douche, why bother wasting time on him?" Because of two things. First, it's my turf, and I don't like retards causing trouble in my neighborhood. Seocond, remember the guy at Taco Bell with the bluetooth headset? Same reason why I wish i had said something to him, because if nobody corrects him, he'll just keep doing it.

The turn is comming up, and the main risk factor here is that he has AWD, which means that he's far more stable going through turns. We come up to the turn, I'm still going the speed limit and pull my soda packs up agaisnt the center console so they wouldn't slam into it. He slows down to take the turn. He takes the turn, and goes a tad wide, but still stays int he right lane. I go in, and let my inside tires hug the gutter, taking it smooth as silk. From the entrance to the exit, the distance between us went from about 30ft, to 2ft. This is training versus cars.

I'm not sure what he was thinking about at that moment, but after a few seconds, he decided to pull into the center lane to let me pass. But I didn't, this wasn't about who's faster, passing him only would have fueled his desire to drive fast. Instead, I stayed right behind him, and escorted him out of the neighborhood. It's strange what you'll do when a jerk challenges your territory.

On a brighter note, youc an now rent movies fromt eh PlayStation Store! This is great. So now instead of me dumping money on movies at the store (me no rent from renty places), I can just download em for $3 a pop. Sweet! This weekend is featuring an Aliens marathon which is costing me $9, whereas I would have spent about $40 on it at Hastings. Hazzah for cheapness! Speaking of cheapness, I was really looking forward to seeing CJ7, but tis' special order only. What the fart?!



August-25-2008

Yesterday I went out to a shooting range with a guy I work with. He heard about my recent interest in guns and shooting, and invited me out to his range. Well it's not HIS range, but he is a Range Master, so he's an official there. You have to have a membership to shoot there, which he has, so i came in as a guest.

He let me shoot a few of his guns. First I shot his Springfield M1911, which is a classic military handgun. In fact, it's often used by Snake in the MGS series as the basic handgun. He had it at .45 calibur, and it was the first time I had ever shot a handgun, or even handled one at that. The recoil what about what I expected, and affirms my theory yet again that what you see in movies is nothing at all like the real deal. So when I say that the recoil is what i expected, i mean that it was much more than you see in movies. It deffinetly wants to come back and wang you in the face (heh~!). Beyond about 15 feet it's inaccurate as hell unless you don't mind taking 10-20 seconds to realign your shots, and though I wanted one (and still do from a collector's standpoint), I see no practical application, even if all you do is take it to the range.

The next gun I shot was a Walther G22. When he told me that it shoots 22's, I thought he meant .223 M-16 rounds. Nope, he actually meant .22 Long Rifle rounds, making it the most delux, bad-ass pea-shooter you've ever seen. It was actually a lot of fun to shoot. It has recoil like a mosquito landing on your shoulder, and is very accurate provided that there's NO wind. As nice as it was though, I'd be kinda embarassed bringing it to teh range with me. That would kinda be like showing up at the drag strip in your mom's PT Cruiser.

Now the next gun I shot was my favorite of the 3 he brought. The Walther P22 is a .22 LR pistol. This, to me, is the most sensible personal firearm I've ever seen. This is ideal for the paranoid homeowner or "too beautiful to be walking down this street at this hour" woman. It has very little recoil compared to the M1911, and it's fairly accurate when shooting quickly. It holds 10 rounds, and weighs very little, while being well balanced. It's small enough to take anywhere, but intimidating to look at. Most gun guys will tell you (and have told me) that when it comes to dealing with an attacker, the more intimidating a gun looks, the less likely it is that you'll have to use it. This of course is pure male fantasy, because the likelihood of being attacked, as well as being attacked and given enough time and the opportunity to pull out a gun, is probably about 1 in a zillion. In most cases, you don't realize that you're being attacked untill it's all over with and you regain your bearings. In summation, p22 good, I like it.

What really got me, what really really got me at the end of the day, was the gun fantasy speech (much like the one i just mentioned) I got from my co-worker. These stories are common at the gun range, and usually close out the day when the gun owner's confidence in his weapon is recharged. What he laid out for me was the strategic location of every gun in his house. He explained to me that he keeps an unloaded gun on the door-side of his bed, so that when a murderer comes into his house, they'll take that gun (because all murderers do on-site weapon procurement). THen, when they try to shoot the gun, he'll be woken-up by the sound of the click, at which time he'll reach over to the other side of his bed, grab his fully-loaded AK-47 (I'm not making this up) and shoot the murderer where he stands (because all bad guys just stand there and wait to get shot in male fantasies). Wow, just wow.

When i think back to my childhood, I was a pretty nervous kid. Thanks to the media and public school, I was pretty well conviced that anyone I didn't know was out to kidnap me and take me to their dungeon filled with mal-nourished six year-olds, and chain me to the wall where I'd be held captive for the rest of my days, eating gruel and wearing tattered clothes, with no hope of ever seeing afternoon cartoons again. After a while I grew out of this state of mind and just didn't think about the "what ifs" of walking home alone. Now, when I hear stories like the one above, and I can't help but feel like these people are the children that never grew out of that state of mind. Or, perhaps, they grew into it. It's hard to say, and it seems to resonate strongly with hard-core republicans. I can't imagine living in that much fear. I'm stating it right now, if I ever have a Rube Goldberg setup of firearms and weaponry throughout my house to defend me from murderers or burglars, please, come into my house, and shoot me. Not fataly if you can help it, just enough so that I can realize what a doorknob I am, and that no male self-defense fantasy ever works. If my co-worker ever was about to be killed in his sleep, but woke up just in time, he'd probably flail around in a panic, get tangled up in his sheets, fall off the bed and skewer himself on a bayonet that he cleverly planted end-up for the murderer to foolishly step on if he crawled through the window. I hope he has a lot of luck with his plan, and kills many intruders who risked it all to get their grubby hands on his Terminator 2 skull with the red, light-up eyes.



August-20-2008

Today I was reading the latest issue of Electronic Gaming Monthly, and came across an interesting interview. The theme of this issue was the Japanese Game Industry, and explored issues concerning the changing (and sometimes worsening) aspect of it. There were a few interviews throughout the issue with some big names, but the one I expected tolike the least, was the best of the lot. The interview was with Tomonobu Itagaki, who headed up Tecmo's production of the "Dead or Alive" and "Ninja Gaiden" series(s). He recently made the news because he quit his job with Tecmo, siting numerous grievences with management and also unpaid bonuses. He's since sued the company for the money owed to him.

I first heard of this guy a couple years ago when a former employee of his charged him with sexual harassment. So right fromt he start, i thought of the guy as kind of a scumbag. Turns out she was just sore because they dated briefly and then he broke-up with her. But honestly, just looking at the guy, it isn't hard to put the notion passed him, he looks like the type to do something like that.But anyway, that's not the point, I just got a bad vibe from the guy initially. Thing is, I'm a big fan of his games. Ninja Gaiden is the type of game that people expect to be above expectations, and Dead or Alive still holds the record as the only game I ever rented 3 times in a row. That being said, despite what kind of guy he is, he does turn out a good product.

Normally in interviews, the interviewee is getting grilled about upcomming games and other business related things, and are under corporate obligation to say the right things with the right spin. Itagaki isn't working for anyone now, and so doesn't have to censor himself at all. He really lets his views fly, and doesn't cheapen the meaning behind his words one bit. What really interested me was the way he viewed the video game business over the last 30 years. He explained the key differences between the US and Japanese markets, and what he did as a game maker to stay in the safest position. The thing to remember is that Dead Or Alive was released in both arcades and on home consoles, so he knows the numbers on each side in each country. He also revealed (to my suprise) that Japanese arcades aren't doing as well as people say. They've been a doomed business in the US since the 90's, but only recently in Japan have they lost popularity.

Throughout the interview, he compares things to fighter planes. He compares the video game insustry to them by relating how as technology advances, less planes are needed to fight bigger battles. Using the same comparison, he goes on to make the most intelligent argument in favor of XBOX 360 that I've ever heard. When asked why he chose to make games only for the XBOX, he responded:

"First of al, I think that the PS3 was an attempt by [former Sony chairman and CEO Ken] Kutaragi to create a uniquely Japanese computer to take on the intel standard; in that sense, I have a lot of respect for him. But to me, having a fighter that's powerful and easy to pilot makes it easy to win. That's my main goal, and thats why I choose to pilot 360."

The PS3 is notoriously difficult to program for because of how complex and advanced the system is. The 360 however, is based on existing technology that was just bumped up to support bigger games, so programming for it requires much less puzzle solving. So Itagaki chose to go with easy programming, which makes for more flexibility is game design, and (theoretically) leads to a better product. Like I said, that's the best defense for the 360 I've heard so far. Interesting stuff, right fromt he horse's mouth.



August-17-2008

The bulnk of what I'm going to complain about today was inspired by one trip to wal-mart.

I am so god damned sick of Mexicans. Everywhere I go, it's nothinbg but brown, smelly, jibberish spewing wellfare suckers, with legions of screaming, brown, disobedient kids running around them in circles. I'm so sick of mexican teenage boys, with shaved heads, knee-high scocks and basketball jerzees on. The only white people around here anymore are military people who got shipped here from the east, and even they're few and far between. I think that I understand why black people grvitate toward each other, because I find myself doing the same thing with white people. I went to a Wendy's the other day, and a white guy was working the drive-thru. A white guy! It was like fucking Christmas for me! I didn't have to talk extra-crystal-clear into the box for once.

I'm also god damned sick of flip flops. I can't go anywhere, ANYWHERE without hearing "flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap..." Feet, everywhere. Toes wiggling around, cracked heels staring back at you. Jagged bones sticking out every which way. The toes are the msot easily injured part of the human body, and people are just going around, totally exposed. When I see people in flip-flips, i see ignorant, lazy, single-minded people, who think only of their own comfort, and are blind to consequences. Have you ever met someone in flip-flops and felt intelectually inferior to them? I haven't. For fucks sake, put on some shoes.

I'm so god damned sick of people who drive the wrong way in one-way parking lot lanes. These are the same people who wear flip-flops. They drive up and down the lanes in the wrong direction, and get pissed at the line of 10 cars comming the other way. THen, when they see a spot, they try to cut their Ford F-950 Super Cab into a 230 degree turn in a space of 15 feet. Finally, after about 5 mintues of backing-up and turning over and over, they get the truck into the space, but sticking straight out so that the person to their left can't back out.

I've bitched enough abotu how much I hate kids on here, but it pissed me off again today. Kids just screaming their god damn heads off. Put a fucking cork in it's mouth! 10 years ago, i was in a resturaunt and a baby started screaming at the top of it's lungs. The mother put her hand over it's mouth, and the noise was gone. That's all it takes. But on top of this, today it seemed that kids were being just as oblivious to their surroundings as the adults, which is actually kinda rare. Kids were bumping into me left and right. I was getting aggitated, and on my way out, I was following a slow as shit mother-daughter combo. THe kid musta been about 4 or 5 years old. Comming the other way, i saw a guy, with shoes on, and the little girl was right in hsi way, not paying attention. He did what my Obsesive Compulsive Disorder prevents me from doing: He just pushed the kid right out of the way. And I don't mean gently, I mean like, it was a "get outta my way you stupid kid" kinda push. The kid turned and looked discouraged, and then just kept walking. The mother didn't see it becuase she was too busy day-dreaming and holding up traffic, but if she had she probably woulda thrown a fit. I laughed, because it was equally as brilliant as the hand over the mouth move.

I said before that it was rare to have kids get in my way. I find myself having to push my way passed women with shopping carts more often than not, because they just fucking stop right in the middle of the aisle. THen, anotehr woman comes downt he other way, and stops adjacent to the other cart. Now, to get to where I was headed, I have to go back down the aisle, walk downt eh next aisle over, and go back down the original aisle from the other way. The women who caused this, don't care, because they aren't paying attention. Then, as I'm standing in the mile-long express chkeck-out line, i notice that one of these shopping cart women is right behind me, but whatever. I'm already in a bad mood, and the people in front of me have about 30,000 kids with them, all of whom seem to have just done several lines of cocain. I keep my distance, but it doesn't matter much, cuzz the kids just kept running into me anyway. Now, because of the way that the registers are setup, there was a gap between a closed register next to me, and the open register that I was waiting for. This gap was being used by people at the register on the other side of me to walk toward the door. I havea long-standing problem where if I'm in a line, cross traffic will always cut in front of me. So, I decided to hang back, and just leave room for people to walk. I could feel the people behind me getting impatient becaue I wasn't standing with my dick up the ass of the guy in front of me like they all were, but I held out. The guy in front of me moves up, and there's now enough room for me to put my stuff on the counter. So I do just that. As I expected, everyone behind me moves up and blocks up the aisle I had left open, so that now everyone behind me is crashing into each other. It's like the old traffic problem where there will be two lanes, one is open, and the other is full of cars and backed-up for miles. Like clockwork, one asshole will go flying passed everyone, thinking we're all too stupid to notice the open lane next to us. Then, he gets to the front of the line, sees why everyone is in the otehr lane (construction, accident, whatever) and then puts on his blinker to merge in. Then, also like clockwork, everyone is thinking "block him out!" but then one douche gets nervous and lets him in, and the smarter class loses again. So anyway, I'm waiting now for the guy in front of me to get his bags and go. While he's doing that, i notice a soda fridge next to me, and decided to grab one. I walk all of 3 feet, get the soda, turn around, and the shopping cart woman who was behind me has moved her cart into the spot where I was standing. Bitch, if you're that desperate to get out of the store, leave your cart and get out, because nothing that you're buying could be needed for the emergency that you're in such a hurry to get to. For years now I've been getting pissed-off at shopping car ladies. I honestly feel that I'm getting to the point where I'll find it acceptable to pick up their carts and throw them out of my way. i'll look like a big asshole and probably get kicked out of the store, but she won't block an aisle again.



August-11-2008

Watching Rednecks shoot guns is about as much fun as shaving your scrotum, so i wouldn't dare post links to videos of such things. I would, and did, however, postlinks to the opposite end of the entertainment spectrum, watching the results of rednecks convincing their girlfriend's to shoot guns. Enjoy:

Click Here: 1
Click Here: 2
Click Here: 3
Click Here: 4 Not a gun video, but shows why fat people kick ass!
Click Here: 5
Click Here: 6
Click Here: 7
Click Here: 8
Click Here: 9
Click Here: 10
Click Here: 11
Click Here: 12
Click Here: 13
Click Here: 14





August-07-2008

Life just keeps getting better. Both guys that I usually work with are on leave, so they have a guy from another shift helping me out. This guy outranks me and, to top it off, is a douche bag. Today he mentioned that he wants to be an MTL (Military Training Leader, aka the people at Tech School who are in charge of the trainees and make their lives miserble). I asked him why the hell he'd want to do that, and his response was, "To make Airmen who aren't like you." I informed him that making comments like that to trainees will gaurantee that they turn out like me, because that's why I turned out like me. But it leads me to another thought. What is it about me that nearly everyone above my ranks hates about me so much?

You could stick to the basics, like a wrinkly uniform, unpolished boots, big belly, individualist attitude, none of which have anything to do with how well I do my job. But some people (ass kissers) get really worked-up over stuff like that. I think what it is is that I'm surrounded by an above-average surge of people who don't like me, and so the bad wrap is bigger than usual. Hmmm... but I won't toss out the idea that they're all right and I really am a piece of shit. Speaking of which, it looks like I'm going to mid-shift, where all the criminals, degenerates, retards, and ugly people go to stay out of the public eye. I should fit right in.

Speaking of people who don't deserve to suck air, has anyone seen the show "Jon and Kate Plus Eight"? It's a reality show about a couple who have a set of twins and a set of sextuplets. I've watched it periodically, and I msut say, if there were any two people more undeserving of children, it's these two shmoes. In particular, the mother. What an awful woman. She just picks on her husband and her kids and screams and bitches all day long. Whenever I watch the show I find myself getting aggrivated. It also helps reinforce my desire to never have kids. Everywhere I go, I see endless examples of people whose lives have been destroyed by having kids. Their kids just bitch and whine and complain and take and need and devour and give nothing back. I never see parents having fun with their kids, only arguing with them. That's not to say that parents and kids don't have fun together, but it's such a short and fleeting moment, and usually ends up with the kids getting yelled at, and there goes all the fun for the day. Parents go to take the kids out to do something fun, and it always turns into a disaster due to misbehaving or disagreements. I've been told time and time again, "that's what I thought, but then I had kids and it's not true at all." Bullshit, I have yet to meet any parents who treat their children as blessings and not burdens. Not to mention this obsession with needs to keep an eye on the kids at all times.

I've told this story countless times, and I'll keep telling it forever. When i was in middle school, I went to a classmate's house to do a school project that we had been assigned. This kid had three brothers, and all four of them were rowdy as hell. When I got to his house, his parents were there, and all I saw and heard was screaming, chaotic, ballistic mayhem throughout the house. I couldn't believe that six people could live like this and manage not to kill each other. Words really cannot describe the level of absurd disarray that this family was in. The youngest one in particular would get screamed at and burst into unconsoled tears relentlessly. I dealt with it the best I could, but after about an hour I had had just about enough, and considered calling my parents to come get me. Just then, the parents left to go grocery shopping.

Once again, words cannot effectively describe what happened in that house. What happened was, everything got quiet. Two of the brothers went outside to play catch, another sat and watched TV, and my classmate and I did our project. When we were done, we all went outside and had fun doing whatever. Afterward we went inside and started watching TV, when all of the sudden, the parents came home. I shit you not, the instant they stepped into the door, it was as if someone had flipped a switch, and it was right back to uncontrollable mayhem again. So that's when I called my parents to come and get me. My point is that a lousy family is usually the fault of the parents, who aren't able to handle responsibility, or the use of birth control.



August-04-2008

This weekend sucked. It's not that anything particularly bad happened, it's just that I had to work Saturday morning, and then I had to get up and go to a class at 8am today (which is like 3am for most other people, considering I normally go to bed around 4am). But, thankfully, I got the rest of the day off to make up for those two inconveniences. SO, I decided to do something nice.

A few weeks ago I was driving around and saw an Indian Resturaunt called Taj Mahal. I swung around and checked it out, but upon walking in, i noticed that it was very fancy and that I was very underdressed. Plus they had cloth napkins, which automatically makes it fancy. So I decided to leave and wait untill a day like today to go back looking appropriate. So I did. I dug out the only nice clothes that I have, ironed em, and headed out.

I was seated promptly, and looked over the menu. I decided to get two drinks, one Indian, one American. I ordered a drink called a Lassi, and a Dr. Pepper. For the meal I ordered the Tandoori Khoobiyan, which is a mix of Tandoori Chicken, Lamb, and Shrimp.

So, my drinks show up, with the Lassi looking like a delightful milkshake with some kind of seeds spread on top of the foam. I picked up the glass, put it up to my face, took a sip, and nearly broke the glass when I lost all control of my senses. It was, without a doubt, the most vile thing I have ever drank. Think about that, I'm a guy who drinks any drink providing only that there is no alcohol in it. I've drank Tea made from a bird's nest (gotta love China Town), and it wasn't nearly as bad as this. I can't imagine anyone wanting to drink that unless the promised result was the desire to jump rope naked on the roof.

So after I guzzled down about half of my Dr. Pepper to wash out the taste of Lassi, my food showed up. Thankfully I can say that the Lassi was the only bad part of the entire dinner. Though the shrimp was average, the lamb was fantastic. But the real star of the meal was the Tandoori Chicken. It was so well marinated that the surface was smooth, it almost looked like it was made of glass. It cut so beautifully, that you ould see the imperfections of the knife in the cut. Whatever Tandoori is, it's good, because that was the best chicken I've had in a long time.

They brought me so much otehr stuff that I couldn't finish it all, nor did I want to, because I had to have an Indian Dessert. I decided to have something that i can't remember the specific name of, but it was basically Rasagollas with some kind of honey suace. Holy frakin' crap was that good. So overall I had a very nice dinner. Avoid Lassi at all costs.





August-02-2008

First, I'd like to state that Rambo friggin' rules. Tonight was a gun movie night, with Frist Blood 1 and 2, and Lord of War. Something I noticed in these movies was something that I've noticed a lot in film and TV, and that's gun shot sounds.

I once saw a documentary about the old movie "Bonnie and Clyde", and it pointed out that the film makers, especially the lead actor Warren Beatty, wanted to convey the harshness of a gun shot, and so edited the shots to be far louder than any other movie. When the film had it's big premier, the attending crew noticed that all the gun shots were quieter than they were in editing. Warren Beatty ran up to the projection booth to ask the projectionist what was wrong with the sound. The projectionist, as it turned out, had gone through the film beforehand and reduced the volume of the gunshots, because he thought it was a mistake on that particular reel.

Ever since then, I've noticed that gun shots in movies are horribly low-volume. Anyone who's ever shot a gun, or even been to a shooting range can tell you that guns are friggin' loud as crap. I went to the range with my friend not too long ago, and every time he shot his Mosin-Nagant, I'd jump outta my skin. On top of that, after spending the day shooting, my hearing was pretty much done for the day. So when you see guys talking normally after firing off about a hundred rounds, in reality it should be followed with, "WHAT?!"

I theorize that the main reason for the decreased volume is the use of blanks. When you fire off a blank, all you're doing is making a lot of fire and noise, thanks to the massive amount of air pressure being dissipated at the end of the gun barrel. With a bullet, that sound is nearly doubled in volume. The best wya I can explain that is to show you this. The thing to note in that video is that the first three rounds are super-sonic, and create a tiny (in physical size) sonic boom. The next 5 rounds are sub-sonic, and have no sonic boom. Since the gun is silenced (which is another movie myth to be discussed), MOST of the actually gun powder "bang" is eliminated. So essentially what you're hearing is the sound of the bullets, not the gun powder.

Another similar complaint i have is in movies where people are talking at normal volume in military aircraft. A good example is Transformers where the guys are talking in the back of a CV-22 Osprey. Bull. As most of you know, I spend a lot of tiem around military aircraft, and being inside one when engine re running means that you can't hear anything. To talk without the aid of a headset requires you to practically put your mouth in the other person's ear and yell your brains out.

Just for the fun of it, here's another gun video. The first gun he shoots is an MP5, a very nice sub-machine gun. Second is a Sig551... apparently (I never heard of it). Next is a personal favorite of mine, the P90 (bull-pup with forward hand grips, holds 50 9mm rounds in one magazine, DAMN!). And the last is a Glock modified to shoot fully automatic.

Another P90 video. Even though it's in Japanese, it fairly obvious what they're talking about.

And just for the hell of it, everything you ever wanted to know about Metal Gear Solid, here.
As well as Metal Gear's entire chronology, part 1, and part 2. I know the entire story inside and out, and it was hard for me to take all the info in. lol



July-28th-2008

This weekend I picked up a copy of the new NIN album, "The Slip". I dunno, maybe I'm getting too old, or Trent Reznor is, but I wasn't feeling this one at all. All the songs were very ho-hum, nothing memorable or worth paying attention to. For the first time ever, I felt that I was "sufferring" through a NIN CD. As soon as it was over, I popped it out, and popped in Killswitch Engage, and proceeded to forget all about "The Slip". I know that as a NIN fan I should be thrilled that we're getting flooded with new stuff after waiting 5 years between albums before. But I'd rather wait 5 years for something that took time and tweaking to perfection as opposed to an "on the fly" slap together of basic songs. Where did all the rage and hate go? Where's the zazz? Where's the catchy riffs and the multi-layered lyrics with cryptic meanings? One could retort, "Well the angry songs were done before, now it's time for righteous political outrage." Bull, I want angry musical annihilation. I'm still angry at the world and I'm feeling let down by the music that I depend on to help me feel better about my state of life.

On another topic, I read an interesting article in GameInformer today. They surveyed 1,400 console owners on various topics, all centered around online features. Of all the charts and graphs and percentages, one really caught my attention. They asked the people being surveyed if they would (or have) buy games to download over the internet, to be stored on the console's hard drive. A resounding 75% said that they'd rather buy a hard-copy of the game. Amazing? In the age of downloadable everything? Not at all, that's a market flub. Here's why:

Ever since the whole Napster ordeal, companies have tried various techniques to capitalize on the newest and hottest technological trend: downloading media. So they set up things like iTunes and what not, to let people buy the songs they want without paying more for songs they don't. On top of that, they can do it all from home, and store it all on their iPod. At $0.99 a song, this ain't too bad, even though it does add up. However, people who have iPods usually love them, and so they're willing to have intangible songs on them. A similar, and soon to be huge deal now, it NetFlix downloadable movies. As was jsut revealed at E3, Microsoft's response to loosing the HD Format wars is now to allow XBOX 360 owners to download their Netflix movies and watch them on the console. This is a very good idea, because this greatly supercede's NetFlix's current "Movie rental by Mail" setup. But note that word, "rental". You download the movie as if you were renting it, so once you download another movie, the previous one is gone.

So game publishers see that PC gamers pirate games left and right, and download them from pirate servers all the time. At first one would think "well if they're okay with downloading a stolen game, then downloading a gaame that they pay for shouldn't be any different." Wrong. If you steal a game, and your hard drive crashes, you don't lose a single penny on that game. If you pay for that downloaded game and your hard drive crashes, you just lost money, not to mention all your progress. Most places will let you redownload it provided that you can prove that you bought it to begin with, but on a PC, they can't get a gaurantee that it's going to the same comptuer, and staying on the computer.

Now, here's Johnny Q. Gamer, who's old enough to buy games on his own and has his own online account setup with whatever game system he has. A game comes out, and it's available to purchase in two forms. You can buy it online and download straight to your console's hard drive, or you can go to the store and pay the same price for the CD. Well, if Jonny's hard drive takes a shit, that means his game will vanish. It's likely that he can redownload it at no cost, but that's providing that the network he downloaded it from still offers it, or is even running. How long will the PlayStation Netowrk or XBOX Live be up and running? Who knows, so in the long term, that digital copy of the game will be long gone, but Blanky McDisky's actually CD will still remain. Plus it saves a lot of space on your drive. Interesting logic that slightly restores my faith in general humanity.

Speaking on online things that don't make sense, why did Sony introduce the new "Trophies" thing? My super-educated guess is that they're trying to do something like XBOX Live's "Achievements" deal, where when you do something impresive in a game, you get a gold star sticker to show your loser friends that you're a bigger loser than they are. Copying a gimmick from your competition makes you pathetic, even if it's better.

Speaking of pathetic attempts at copying things, how about PlayStation Home? Yeah, wow, can't wait for that to fail horribly. I guess this is Sony's attempt to copy Nintendo's Mii thing. So far I haven't heard one thing about Home that makes me feel like it will improve my gaming experience even one tiny bit. It sounds like taking the long way around to do something that I should be able to do through a menu system. But instead I can take control of a character that I model after myself so that people all over the world can see what a poorly dressed, fat, geek with thinning hair I am. And I can walk around town and look at people socializing and doing things, while not doing any of thsoe things myself. So it's kinda like being at the mall, where I can walk to a distant place in order to play a game, rather than just selecting it from my basic game menu that I already have and works fine.

I think that the real deal with Home is that Sony realized shortly after last year's E3 what a colossal hunk of shit it really is, but have hyped it so much that they can't scrap it, and are now scrambling to make it usable.Like anything Sony, it's about a year behind schedule, and probably won't come out for another year.

A similar, but more promissing disaster, is the game "Little Big Planet." I'll admit, the game looks good, and I would like to play it, any time within the next 5 years. I saw ads for this game not long after the PS3 came out, and every time I've seen it since it's been "just around the corner", for the last year and a half. I've been subjected to so much press for a game that nobody has played that I'm starting to resent it. It has a high position on my campaign to stop advertising games years before they come out. I estimate that LBP will be out in 2009, because like every holiday since the release of the PS3, the big holiday games won't come out until after everyone spent their money, and then can't buy it. I also think that Final Fantasy 13 will be the last big hurrah for the PS3 just before the PS4 comes out in 5 years. Also, White Knight anybody? yeah, where'd that game go since we were promissed it 2 years ago?



July-27th-2008

I went to see The Dark Knight today, or last night, it was a late show. I had planned to see it at about 7:30pm, but when I got to the big delux theater, it was so overcrowded that there was no way I'd get a seat anywhere expect in the front show between people who wouldn't want me to sit next to them. So I went across town to ol' reliable, that is UA Four Hills theater, where a packed theater means that half the seats are empty. So I got to plunk down in my usual corner and enjoy a $4.50 medium Mr. Pibb. I was in a good mood going in because I got to play a few satisfying rounds of Austin Powers pinball in the lobby.

So the movie starts off, and wastes little time going into the plot, which I love when movies do. The whole damn thing is expertly done, there are multiple plots that all come together nicely, while not being tied together. Now, many would and will debate my next comment, but as the presiding chairman of everything sensible and right, you can trust me when I say that Heath Ledger's Joker cast a shadow over the rest of the movie, and every other Joker performance ever done. The only one that comes close is Mark Hamill's Joker from the Animated Series, but the character as a whole is much more formulaic. Ledger's Joker is smart as hell, and isn't afraid to get his hands dirty. In fact, his hands get filthy, right down to the bone. Something that even the movie points out, though anyone could see it, is that this Joker (as stated in the movie Psycho) commits crimes of passion, not profit. This Joker's goal is to turn the world into chaos, just to watch it burn. The Joker states at one point that he's not crazy, and quite convincingly. Again, that's just it, he's not crazy, he's pure freakin' evil. I'm very bummed that Ledger died, because that was a character I'd like to see more of. But like most good things, it's small disage is what will make it even better.

Harvey Dent plays a major roll in the movie, and eventually we see him as Two-Face. I don't want to say that this Two-Face is bad, it's different though. The Two-Face of yore was out for revenge on "The Man" in GOtham City, as it were, and so wasn't afraid to do a little thugging here and there. This Two-Face though, was all about revenge against the "heros of Gotham". His plight was more pure, but a little too fast and too extreme. I think that they should have pushed his story out a little further in the timeline of the movie. The great thing about this Two-Face though was the burned half of his face. Think of Two-Face from the animated series, with the lid-less eye and lip-less mouth, and add what would really happen if one got burned. It was pretty horrifying, and therefore right on target.

Now, the movie is over, the theater is dark, and the credits start to roll. My mind, is blown, because nobody has stood up yet. Gradually, as the credits roll, people get up to leave, but slowly. When it was all over (and there's nothing after the credits), there were three of us left. WHen the two other guys who stayed got up to leave, I said "At least some of us are patient." It helped to slightly restore my faith in humanity.



July-14-2008

I was just trying to sit through the G4 coverage of Microsoft's E3 presentation, and I coulnd't do it. I felt embarassed, even in the privacy and confines of my own home, watching corporate execs and software programmers fumble through scripted lines, and deomonstrate games that they have no clue how to play.

As much as it pains me to say this, but I realized it last year as well, Peter Moore was exactly the type of person that Microsoft needed up on stage, pushing merchandise. The guy may have been kind of a douche, but the guy knew how to organize a presentation with style that also flowed well. This year, Microsoft's presentation (now without Moore who no loner represents MS) is just as bad as Sony's was last year. Man oh man, that's saying a lot. Last year, Jack Treton, who does something at Sony, ran the entire presentation, and turned it into a tedious marathon without the rewarding end.

In recent years, E3 has been getting bashed by the media, as well as game publishers, because of it's increasingly disorganized state. I remember many years ago, 11 actually, when E3 was new, and what a tremendous deal it was. The biggest stuff you could think of was on the show floor, there for anyone to see and learn about, and then spend the next year or so giddily awaiting the release of their favorite games which they saw first at E3. That was then, when things made sense. Now, E3 is media only, no fans. In the age of internet and communication, the dumbest thing you can do is present these things with a media filter on it. Telling your customers, especially the ones willing to shell out the money to get into E3, that they aren't invited to look at the things that THEY'LL be buying, is a horrible marketing move. Proof of that is that ever since it's become a media-only event, nobody likes it any more. Somehow it's statyed afloat, as the last 3 events were said to be the last E3 ever, each year. I read that a large number of 3rd party developers decided not to even show-up, and I can't say that I blame them. Why bother setting up shop if there's no gaurantee that customers will ever see your display?

Now, the reason that I say all this, is that despite the fact that E3 is media only, the big 3 companies all put on a show as if fans were in the audience. They try pulling the same advertising tricks on journalists, who've seen it all before, as they do on stupid average joe's who think that the pretty girl by the TV will go out with him if he buys one. So, what happens when Chewbacca comes out on stage to present the new Star Wars PSP? Crowd cheers and joyous rapture? No, more like dead silence and reporters waiting to jot down when the release date is. It's bad enough when your meer presence on stage is a downer, but to be giving a doomed performance to a crowd that doesn't care, Jesus H. Christ on a cracker. If I were Sony, I'd have Billy Mays on a plane to California to save their company. Seriosuly, Billy Mays can push any product, so if he could get behind a product that people care about (electronic entertainment, as opposed to garden drills and industrial silly putty), it'd go over like Gang Busters. Seriosuly Sony, get Billy Mays to do the Sony Presentation this week, and I gaurantee positive results.



July-07-2008

Why do I even bother going to the movies anymore? I just went to go see Hancock, and I want my damn money back. What a piece of shit. I don't have the wherewithal right now to bitch up a storm about what a god aweful travesty of a movie that was. Absolute nonsense, with no links, reasons, or motivation behind anything. The story is NEVER fully explained, the characters have no explicable history, and the "bad guys" do things with no knowledge as to why or if they'll work. What a hunk of shit. Hollywood really does think that they can just crap in our faces and we'll eat it up as long as there's explosions and side-boob.

And once again, people are ready to shoot out of the theater like the damn building is on fire as soon as they see a black screen. These people are the problem with movies, because they live in a hypnotized dream state, where as long as basic needs are fulfilled, they can just piddle-shit through life. "I saw explodie, I saw boob, screen go black, me leave now." No wonder Hollywood thinks the American public is such a bunch of dullards, they are!

I'll finish with a quote from Futurama,
Fry: "Bender, this world isn't good enough for you."
Bender: "Not even close."



July-05-2008

This week I finally got something that I've wanted for a while, a front Shock Tower Brace for the Miata. I got it from GoMiata.com, who I won't give a link because doing business with them sucked. I order the brace and new Tail Lights from them. When the package showed up, it had the lights, and the bar, but nothing else. So I had to e-mail them and tell them to send me the rest of the Shock Tower Brace. No apologies, just said that they'd send it out. So the mounts finally showed up, and everything installed fine (though i did have to modify the Air Filter Box to get the brace to fit).

On a note not related to the rest of this story, GoMiata.com really sucks ass. That's not to say that they don't have good products, I mean their business sucks ass. I've noticed that the Miata has been burning oil quickly how that it's hot out, so I looked up the Oil Cooler Kit on their site. I notice though, that there's no way to attach it to the oil system. I e-mailed them, and they said that the Oil Filter adapter (which every other Oil Cooler Kit on the planet comes with) is a seperate order, and msut be bought with the Oil Filter Relocation Kit! (Miata Oil Filters are notoriously difficult to get to, so many aftermarket palces sell kits to put the filer someplace more accessible). So, if you want the Oil Cooler Kit, you have to buy the Oil Filter Relocation Kit, whether you want it or not. That's BULLSHIT. I wrote them an e-mail, and explained as nicely as I could that such a tactic is basically extortion, and that if they don't change it, they've lost my business. They didn't respond.

Anyway, back to the story at hand. Like I said, the products are good, and the brace was worth every penny. I didn't realize until I put it on just how much flex there is in the Miata's chasis. Now the Front wheels work together instead of getting all off-kilter. Really really worthwhile purchase, I just wish that my money went toward someone I like (like FlyinMiata.com, but they dont' sell those).

So tonight I decided that I'd give the new brace a real test, up on my favorite Mountain Pass around here, Sandia Crest. The trek up the mountain was a pain, as always. It's so steep that the Miata has trouble climbing up into the stratosphere. After the long schlep, I get to the top. The top has a resturaunt (which I've never been in, as I've heard it's terrible), and a couple big parking lots.

Usually, this is where I get disappointed, because I always want there to be someone in a decent car waiting for someone else, me, to go down the mountain with. Well since it's 2am, I'm not counting on it, but Holy Crap! There it was, a Subaru Impreza, waiting in the parking lot! This was potentially exciting for two reasons. First, it was a car that doesn't suck, and Second, I recently talked to a guy who said that he had an Impreza and often drove on Sandia Crest, so there was a chance that I knew the guy. I swung around and got ready to go down (it's one-way up and down). I was expecting the guy to follow me, but no such luck. So I went to the start point, and just as I got there, I saw a camera flash behind me. Not thinking about it, I took off down the mountain. After a minute, I stopped to see if he was gonna follow me... nothing. So I kept going. The further down I went, the more I started to wonder why the hell the guy took my picture. Was he cataloging late-night racers? Was he looking for someone to turn into the police? Was he just a camera-happy geek who likes taking pictures of anything that interests him? THe first and third options seem the most likely, but the second one stuck in my head. The last time a picture was taken of my car, it came to me in the mail with a ticket attached. So, my paranoia and realistic thinking leads me to hope that the guy doesn't do anything with the picture, and if he does, that he has the smarts to censor my license plate.

So, the results of the Brace test were top-notch. The car handled way better with it. However, I'm still not satisfied with the handling. I think new sway bars are next on the list.

Speaking of cars and handling, I bought the game "Grid" today. Very nice suprise. It's very well balanced racing, and with real cars and real damage. Gran Turismo has been wearing on my patience, and this game is a nice change of pace. Though it's not my favorite feature, the car damage is something that I welcome. One of the few other games to have car damage on real cars was "Need For Speed: High Stakes". I attribute much of my racing game abilities to that game. Before that, you could slam a car into a wall at 200mph and drive off without a scratch, but NFSHS forced you to drive carefully while also driving fast. I think that this is just what the new generation of gamers needs. The drifting is ideal, not as easy as Burnout, but not as hard as Tokyo Extreme Racer. Many people are already claiming this to be what Gran Turismo should be, and I'm starting to agree. Gran Turismo is great and all, but "realistic" shouldn't mean "tedious".



July-01-2008

I had no intention of updating tonight, but something came to my attention that I just can't neglect ranting about. Capcom has been known to do several cross-over games, such as X-Men Vs. Street Fighter, Marvel Vs. Capcom, and (my favorite) Capcom Vs. SNK. It's been quite some time since the last cross-over fighting game has come out, and I'm thrilled at this one. Capcom Vs. Tatsunoko. Or as it's actually called, "Tatsunoko vs. Capcom: Cross Generation of Heroes". As usual, The Fighter's Generation is the only site that has any real info about it.

I know I know, "What the hell is Tatsunoko?!" I asked the same thing, and when i found out what that is, I was freaking thrilled. Tatsunoko is one of the oldest anime production companies in the world. They've produced some of the most famous anime's to come to america. Most notably, Speed Racer, Gatchaman "aka G-Force, aka, Battle of the Planets, which had character designs by Yoshitaka Amano, who rules), and Neon Genesis Evangelion. All that's great, and I can't wait to see if Samurai Pizza Cats get involved, but that's not what I'm so thrilled about. What I'm thrilled about is the fact that Chasshan, one of my favorite anime characters ever, is FINALLY in a game, and a fighting game at that.

Casshan (Casshern in japan) was one of the first anime movies I ever saw. A Live Action movie was made a few years ago that I thought was pretty good. One of the big draws to Casshan is his ungodly cyborg strength, which he demonstrates by ripping huge robots apart (as Allen Harris once put it) like a box of tissues. But don't be fooled, I'm still pretty stoked about Gathaman, they kick ass too. I don't know if the Lil' Bits (the last anime ever shown on Nick Jr.) are gonna be involved, but one can hope.

Just on a side note, I'm freaking loving Death Note. I'm about ready to include in my coveted "Top 5 Anime's of all time" list. I especially like the new opening song. It's loud and nasty, just like I like my music.



June-29th-2008

Q: Hey, Blank-Disk? What's the weather like in New Mexico this time of year?

A: Well, it's June, so ya know, hot, unbearabley sunny, with the occassional HAIL STORM! That's right, Marble sized hail, in June, in New Mexico. I'm convinced that this state is the above sea level version of the bermuda triagle.



June-27th-2008

I normally don't talk about things like this, but I feel compelled to do so right now. A couple weeks ago, I went out with some freinds to see a movie. On the way home, 3 of us were in my friend's car, and a guy who I know from work who came with us, took his motorcycle. When we got on the highway, he zipped ahead of us. Next thing we saw was him on the side of the highway standing over his bike. He was wearing a helmet, gloves, and a bike jacket with slide pads in it. The story was, he was doing 80mph, and went to change lanes. He suddenly hit a bit of sand (common here) and the bike slide out from under him. He landed on his face and slid about 30 feet, and judging from his helmet and the bike, that sounded about right. He skinned up his knees, but was able to ride home. Wow, that's pretty crazy. Especially since he freakin' survived. The brake handle on the bike was sanded down, that's how bad it was, and he walked away.

Now, I came to find out a couple days ago, that another guy that I know from work, but this guy I know quite well, got in a motorcycle accident. I didn't hear what the circumstances were, but again, a helmet was involved, so he's alive. What I do know though is that he ripped 5 out of 6 tendons in one leg.

Over the weekend, I just so happened to be relaying the first story to a guy, who turned out to be the Executive of the Base Safety Office. He said that in the AIr Force alone last year, there were about 165 deaths, and that 58% of them were motorcycle accidents, and that most of them weren't wearing helmets. The whole point I'm trying to make is, wear your freakin' safety gear.

In other news, I'm trying to be nicer to my car. I bought new tail lights for it, and today after work I washed it for the first time in... a long long time. When you can't see out of your rear window, it's time to wash the car. The engine seems to be having soem idling issue, which I am chalking-up to bad Alternator/battery. Neither would supprise me.



June-24th-2008

Today at work, we had a brief discussion about Mortal Kombat. Today when i got home, I noticed that Mortal Kombat 2 was one of the games that I bought off the PlayStation Store when I first got my PS3. So I decided to give it a try, again, as I usually do every couple years. Maybe I'm an ignorant retard, but I just can't grasp this game. At one point, many years ago, I knew Sub-Zero's moves, and I think I learned Scorpion's "Get over here!" move, but that was about it. Also, I remember the first time i played MK3, I won by continually doing a smashing move with the 4-armed chick. In all of my Mortal Kombat experience, that seems to be the only way to win, doing the same move over and over, usually a move that is unblockable, or renders the opponent immobile in some way. If you don't do this, you'll be beaten to a pulp by the computer in about 4 moves.

Speaking of moves, I went online to find out just what the hell the moves are. These moves make no sense in the scheme of fighting games. They seem to be a half-assed jumble of various directional button presses, followed by a specific action button. There is no real tactic behind them. What really bothers me about them is that they all seem to be based primarily on 4-point direction inputs. So you can't just roll your inputs like a normal fighting game, you have to do one input, stop, then do another.

I wasn't allowed to play the game when I was a kid, and instead played Street Fighter. Let me tell you about a game worth mentioning. TO this day, Super Street Fighter 2 is considered one of the most balanced and well plotted fighting games ever. THe controls are fluid, and the tactics one must use to win are varied and require patience and timing to win.

I once saw a documentary about Mortal Kombat, and the creators said that it was meant to be a bargain-bin, throw away game to help generate a little money to help fund a more promissing project. I can see why. I don't understand what the hell the attraction is/was to this game. All of it's fans seem to have hovered over to Tekken, as it has a similar nonsensical control scheme, and tactics that... well, there aren't any. Just do a backward flip kick about 20 times and you'll win.

Speaking of fighting games, but good ones, Street Fighter 4 is looking promissing as ever. It looks as if they're pretty much denying Street Fighter 3 ever existed, which is a sad state of affairs because it was considered a pinnacle in 2D fighters. It had excellent animation and programming. However, it didn't do well because it was made to be played by advanced players. It's rediculously hard, I've only beaten the Arcade mode once. This one seems to revive all the characters from SF2, and adds a few more. But once again, teh new characters don't really mix-in very well in my opinion. One guy, Abel, and some Lucha wrestler look okay, but the other two aren't the stereotypes that Street Fighter fans love. As always, I'm holding my breath for Akuma, and hopefully a top-notch version of Shin Akuma.

In other news, I saw the new Call of Duty: World At War video today. Once a-friggin'-gain, it takes place in World War 2. Why? WHY? I thought we were done with this. THe last game took place in modern times, and it was friggin' incredible. It got Game Of The Year from a lot of reviewers. All i can say is that this one better come with a free gun, otherwise it's just gonna be another WW2 crap-fest. Pearl Harbor, Normandy, Iwo Jima, tap dancing on the poop deck, been there done that about a zillion freakin' times. Get a new war to mimic. Hey, I'd take a Revolutionary War game over a WW2 game any day. Why? Cuzz it ain't been done yet, at least not well.

Hey, here's an idea. Indians vs. Protestants. You play as an Indiain, fighting off John SMith and the Pilgrim Menace with rocks and sticks. It's a timeless struggle, it'll even have biological warfare. The settlers give the indians diseased blankets, while the indians shit in the creek and give the Quakers dysentery. Uh oh, the indians did a rain dance (aka Colonial WMD) and gave an entire village pneumonia. Now that's a game.



June-23rd-2008

I read that George Carlin died yesterday. That's really sad, I enjoyed his comedy more than anyone else these days. I had suspected that he was in poor health the last couple of years, and it seems that was more or less true.

I think that my favorite act of his was "Complaints and Grievences," Especially the part where he lists people who oughtta be killed. I also enjoyed his act on the Ten Commandments, and how he simplified them down to two commandments: "Thou Shalt always be honest and faithful, and thou shalt try real hard not to kill anybody."

I'm off to watch some Carlin acts.



June-23rd-2008

After quite a long period of on-and-off play, I finally beat Professor Layton and the Curious Village. I don't know if I'd classify it as a "best game ever" or "favorite game ever", but I have no problem calling it a classic.

The game basically tells the story of Professor Layton and his protege Luke, investigating a mysterious treasure, called "The Golden Apple" (the treasure isn't a golden apple, but rather that's what it's reffered to as nbobody knows what the treasure is), left behind in a man's will. Along the way, Layton and Luke have to solve puzzles in order to unlock the secrets of the treasure, and numerous other mysteries around town. There's over 120 puzzles, most of medium difficulty. You can unlock bonus puzzles though, that are of very high difficulty.

The game puts the two elements together well. My only critisism is that the plot mysteries are solved for you, almost like the puzzles were jsut inserted into an already written story. I think that some kind of device to compile evidence and then submit a final verdict would have been better. Still, it was a great game and tons of fun to play. I read that there's already a sequel in Japan with antoehr on the way, so I'll be looking forward to that.

One thing that really stuck out to me was the art style. I recognized it instantly, btu I can't quite place where I've seen it used before. I wouldn't doubt if the artist adn animators were part of an anime I've seen. The animated sequences were very well done, and I've also heard rumors of a movie, which I think it would work very well as. Good game, good game.



June-20th-2008

I wish I had more time to talk about this, but work calls. Last night I saw a preview for Bill Maher's documentary, "Religulous". Now, i've heard Bill Maher's "comedy" in the past, and while I didn't disagree with what he said, i always felt that it was too self-righteous. Or, to put it better, as if he expected everyone to agree with him. Most of the time, his rants usually turn into putting down religion.

From what I saw in the trailer, and what I know of Bill Maher, I can say that this is really over the top. By that I don't mean that he's pushing the envelope, I mean he's making himself look rediculous (zing!). The trailer depicts religious people as lunatics and idiots and downright backward people who can justify cruelty in the name of their faith. One guy insinuates that he's ready to throw down if Maher insults his religion. Or, that's what we're lead to believe. What that said to me was that this guy is feels insulted by Maher insulting his beliefs, and if willing to put Maher in his place. I dunno, sounds pretty human to me.

Maher always blames religion for damn near everything. He always nit-picks little instances from here and there and blows them up into big deals. Kinda like how Southern Baptists do (Ohhhhhh!). And that right there is my point. He pisses all over people for believing what he percieves as lunacy, mainly because he feels that they push their religion on others and society. But what's his response? To push his opposing views on society in such a way as to make people feel stupid if they don't agree with him. He makes a movie showing how dumb radical religious people are, when he himself is a radical Athiest.

I'm not sure who authorized him to do this, but they must be desperate for something to put on the screen. All it is is the rants of one nut case about other nut cases. He focuses on religion so much that he thinks that it's a huge problem, when in fact religion has little to no effect on the average person's daily life at all. Hey, if you follow dogs around all day, you'd think tht there was a huge dog poop problem. This guy really needs to look at the bigger picture.

BTW, is it jsut me or does Bill Maher bear a striking resemblance to Bill O'Reilly. In fact, that two behave the same way about their extreme views. Interesting, I call shenanigans.



June-13-2008

It's so hard to think of something solid to say about MGS4. What I can say for sure is that it's occupying a lot of my time, and in a very good way. I find myself saying that I'll save and quit after the next level, but never do until I realize what time it is.

Gameplay wise, oh man, it's awesome. One of the biggest and most impressive additions to the series is the Octocamo. In the last game, to blend in with your surroundings, you had to go into a menu system and change your camoflauge every time the sceenery changed. And even then, you weren't totally hidden. Enemy soldiers could usually spot you pretty easily if you were too close or moved even a little. But this new Octocamo system is just insane. Basically, the suit mimics the pattern and texture of any surface that you touch, provided that you remain still. However, even after you move, the suit will retain the effects. What I thought was really funny is that if you want the suit to return to default black, you just shake the controller like an Etcha-Sketch. This suit is so damn handy, and it really helps you to blend in. At one spot, I saw two soldiers comming, so I laid down on the sidewalk and the suit mimiced the color and texture. One guy actually walked right up to me and didn't know that I was there untill he tripped over my arm. That's rediculously good, because in other games, something like that never would have happened. They'd have spotted me no problem.

Story-wise, the game is just an absolute information overload. I want so badly to catch everything the first time, but there's just no way. Hideo Kojima said that all the plot holes will be filled-in in this game, and I don't doubt it considering how much info is getting covered.

A gameplay element that I really like is the ability to play for a team. Rebel troops are scattered throughout the game, and if you help them win a battle, they'll cover you, and help to forge you a path through all the soldiers.

I could go on and on, but I'll save it for later. The game rules, and that's that.



June-12-2008

I wanted to do a bigger update than this, but my free time is a tad bit occupied at the moment. Though I told everyone I wouldn't, fate just so happened to allow me to attend the midnight sale of Metal Gear Solid 4 last night. It was pretty cool, and not nearly as crowded as I had expected, but there was still a decent turn-out. I'd say there were about 20 people there.

They let us into the store (EB Games) at 10pm so that we could all pay for our copies in advance, that way when the clock struck midnight, they could just hand them out nice and efficient like. A girl that worked there was dressed up like Meryl Silverburg from MGS, and the manager was a combination of MGS1,3,and 4 snake. He was wearing MGS1 clothes, with an MGS3 eyepath, and his hair was grey and he had a mustach like MGS4 Snake. lol. I went and got some dinner and then came back seeing as I didn't feel like browsing games I didn't want for 2 hours. When I came back, one of the employees that I knew from playing Inidital D had shown up and was being the MC of the event. He decided to do some trivia and give out prizes. I, or course, instantly volunteered to be first. He asked me to name all 4 aliases of Gray Fox. I was hesitant to answer because I didn't know how specific he wanted me to be, but I got it right with Gray Fox, Frank Jeager, Null, and Cyborg Ninja. My prize was an oversized display box for MGS4, which I think will be a nice piece of rare display memorabillia. I got asked a 2nd question later, but got it wrong (arg!). He asked me what year MGS was released for the PC. I said 2001, but it was 2000. Oh well, plot is more my thing anyway. So midnight rolled around and they played the MGS theme, and everyone got their copies. I, of course, got the super special edition copy with goodies.

I'd love to talk about the game right now but work calls. Stay tuned!



June-03-2008

Well that was a big fat build-up to nothing. Basically they're giving me another chance to pass my PT test. Yay, 3 more months of tension and insecurity. Arg. Sometimes I jsut wish they'd kick me out and be done with it.



I'm going to be leaving here pretty soon to find out my fate concerning my Air Force career. I'm very nervous. Though I should be expecting the worst, I find it conforting to think that there's a posibility that it won't be as bad as I think. But this idea just reminded me of a line from "Alice's Resturaunt". "Now friends, there was only one or two things that Obie coulda done at the police station, and the first was he could have given us a medal for being so brave and honest on the telephone, which wasn't very likely, and we didn't expect it, and the other thing was he could have bawled us out and told us never to be see driving garbage around the vicinity again, which is what we expected, but when we got to the police officer's station there was a third possibility that we hadn't even counted upon, and we was both immediately arrested."

THat's kidna how I feel right now. I'm not expected to be let off, but there are ways, in my mind, that i can be while still fullfilling my superior's desire to punish me for being fat. There's a worse option that will be a major loss in my mind and will very much satisfy my superior's desires for punish me for being fat. But I can't help but shake the thought that there's a third option that's escaping my attention, that is far worse than anything I had thought of already.

For those of you dying to hear the news, all 3 of you, please be patient. The story is long and I need time to organize it to make sense. I probably won't have time today to post the news until I get home from work tonight. So please wait until then.



May-29-2008

So a while back a web comic came to my attention, which is written by an Air Force officer called "Air Force Blues." Now I'm all for someone making a comic about the Air Force, but it's just not what it should be. First off, I have yet to read a decent curse word. Second, It focuses on Officers. Who gives a shit about officers? Not me. Officers just make life difficult for everyone, and they get all the attention anyway. All the movies (except one, Jarhead, the greatest military movie ever made) focuses on Officers. I read that the creator of the comic is a Staff Sergeant, which I find hard to believe considering how much Enlisted people are villified int eh comic. Yes, he's pointing out the flaws of the officers for looking down on the enlisted people, but it doesn't balance right. I get what he's doing, but his direction is very off. My biggest complaint is that when i read his strips, i get the feeling that he's walking on eggshells not to piss anyone off. I know for a fact that one can easily get in trouble for "misrepresenting" the Air Force. A guy I used to work with made a very popular music video in his dorm room, and becuase he had an Air Force flag in the background, he got in major trouble, and the video was banned from all servers. Gay. But c'mon man, kissing ass may keep you your job, but you'll look back and see yourself as a sell-out to people who ended up betraying you. This is one more reason why i need to break into the comic business. If only my financial future had a shred of certainty at this point.

I've had big news, not good news, but big news, but I'm waiting to share it. Next week I'll enlighten all 3 of you as to what's going on, as I'll finally get some solid answers about my situation.

In lighter news, I beat Grand Theft Auto 4. The ending was what I expected, but it still was very emotional. I think it's sad that GTA always get such a negative view from the general public, when in fact it's often the best story telling you can find in video games, this one espeially.



May-26-2008

Follow-up update. I got in my car to go see some friends, and as I was driving, the new song from The Cure came on the radio. Hell, maybe they will headline Lalapalooza. Also, I got to rethinking, and they should do a Marvel Vs. DC game if anything. Or, if it's too far fetched to have the two companies going up against each other like that, then they should do Guilty Gear Vs. DC. Guilty Gear is a great fighting game franchise that has a good cult following. It's not super popular, but it's a great place to start. THe only downside that I see to that is that Guilty Gear is very weapons based, and msot big DC heros do really use melee weapons. That is to say that they mostly just brawl with bad guys. I dunno. I'm feeling lost in my own head. -------
So so so. Many years ago, a video game came out that revolutionized 2D fighting games (arguably), called X-Men vs. Street Fighter. This later evolved into the last big game of the series, Marvel vs. Capcom 2, which many consider the last great 2D fighting game (I disagree, but I can see why some would think that). The game was an arcade smash hit. It focused on huge combos and was fairly easy to pick-up and play. I heard many stories about people crowding around the arcade machine just to watch someone do big flashy combo moves.

With the success of these Company Vs Company games, many others came into being, one such being my personal favorite, Capcom Vs. SNK 2. I even heard about a Namco Vs. Capcom game, which is funny to me considering all Namco fighters are 3D. Well, I heard about the latest collboration, and thought it was dumb. Then I saw the video for it, and still thought it was dumb.

Mortal Kombat Vs. DC Universe is the Hail Mary attempt by both companies to tap into a "new" audience. This is the total opposite end of the spectrum of Marvel Vs. Capcom were it 1993. The main Marvel (X-Men, Spider-man) competator has always been DC (Batman, Superman), so it seems only natural that DC would want to make a competing fighter (6 years later). And back when Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat were big, everyone (me especially) wanted to see a game feturing the two head-to-head. But the problem with that is that Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter controls are completely different. For someone like me who's spent all of 3 hours playing Mortal Kombat games in my whole life, I wouldn't know where to begin with a game like that. But like I said, 15 years ago this woulda been a big deal. Now, it's just sad.

DC has been in big trouble ever since Marvel started making movies, and their response, Superman Returns, was pathetic. Batman Begins however, was freaking fantastic, so there's where they need to focus. DC has never had a good video game, and teaming up with Midway for a Mortal Kombat collaborative game is like The Cure headlining Lalapalooza. Who cares? Nobody who matters.

The video I saw was Batman Fighting Sub-Zero. The game looked, LOOKED, good. But the knowledge that the controls are gonna be ancient, and the fact that the characters are people that nobody cares about anymore, make it seem like a joke. But hey, i hop ei'm wrong. I hope this game ushers in a new era for both companies. Maybe we'll finally see a Mortal Kombat game that doesn't suck. Maybe DC will finally be cool again. I doubt it, but there's a chance I suppose.

What would hav emade far more sense to me would be DC vs. Tekken. If you're gonna team up with another company to help boost your popularity, don't do it with a dead franchise that can't even cover the cost of the production of it's own crappy games. Even though I hate Tekken, it's still popular. That woulda been the better way to go.



May-19-2008

"This is why we can't have nice things" Part 2. Today I got a hankerin for some Taco Bell, and decided to go to the new TacoBell/KFC down the street. The last few times I've gone there, the drive thru people messed up my order, so I decided to go inside to see if it would solve the problem. It did, and my order was fine, but that's not the point of this story.

After I placed my order, there was a father and daughter behind me who went next. The daughter looked about 11, but was wearing a High Scool jacket, so she was probably 13 or 14. The father was a stocky, balding guy with a bluetooth earpiece, which speaks volumes about his personality (those indicate that you're a dick, especially when you wear it ALL THE TIME). As soon as the daughter started placing her order, I knew it was gonna be trouble. No this, extra that, upsidedown bun, spin it in the air, 5 specks of pepper, etc... It was clearly too much for the cashier to grab on teh first pass, so she asked for the girl to repeat it. The father stepped in and bedgrudingly repeated it for her, and then placed his stupidly complicated order. It got so rediculous that the manager had to come over and show the chashier how to make so many adjustments to the order.

I have to interrupt the story here. What the hell is wrong with just getting something the way it's made? Here's my order, "I'll have a number 7, to go." TADA! Everyone's on the same page, and the chances of a mishap are about .01%. A friend of mine used to manage a Taco Bell, and he told me all about how the people making the food get into a groove, they just make the same things over and over and don't even have to think about it. But then, somebody will come in and make a weird order, and futz the whole rhythm up. That's when things get screwed-up. At work, when I get lunch for everyone, I have two rules: No drinks (they're a pain to carry and we have a snack bar with soda anyway), and no special orders. The only, ONLY time I made an exception to that rule was that one guy was deathly allergic to onions, which is more than an acceptable reason for a special order. But if ti's jsut your preference, jsut pick the closest thing to what you like and order that. Or, better yet, stay the hell home and make it yourself.

So, like the dick this guy is, he starts reading over his reciept like a hawk, and won't even let his daughter get her drink untill he's verified his KFC credentials are in order. He stands at the pick-up counter watching them make his food, and starts making a stink to his daughter about how the girl just put gravy on his mashed potatoes. Meanwhile I'm sitting at a table, patiently awating my order, because I'm awesome like that, and standing there waiting for it just makes it seem to take forever. I actually considered asking this guy to wait until i get my order before he pisses off the staff.

Finally, after quite a while, my order comes up. As soon as the girl puts my food on the coutner the guy starts making a fuss, and I have to reach around him to get my food. "As you can see, I clearly ordered mashed potatoes with no gravy, but I saw her put gravy on my mashed potatoes," he said. "Oh okay," said the girl, "I'll make sure she gets you plain mashed potatoes." Here's the zinger, "Well yeah, I mean I ordered it like that, but I guess she's just stupid." Welp, enjoy your spit potatoes and loogie slaw, you friggin' retard. What kind of upbringing did this asshole have to make him think that he can just insult people like that and get away with it? People make mistakes, especially when they're working in a hot ass kitchen for 12 hours a day, and somebody hands them a mile-long order for ONE meal. Thankfully the daughter looked mortified at the whole thing, so hopefully she won't grow up to be an equally pompus douche.

Honestly, if I were the manager, I'd give the guy his money back and tell him to leave. He'd throw a fit, then I'd get in trouble and maybe even fired, but I wouldn't have any regrets. The phrase "the customer is always right" is an idea that needs to die, or be changed. Guys like that thrive on that phrase whenever he wants to ruin someone's miserable, minimum-wage day. The customer should always been respected, no question, but abuse is abuse, and it can't be tollerated on either side of the spectrum. Blatently insulting someone like that for an honest mistake is unacceptable in any setting, and the staff not doing anything about it just leaves this guy open to do it again. I hope his dumbass bluetooth earpiece shorts out his brain and paralyzes him.



May-17-2008

Ninja Warrior post time. G4 has been doing a Ninja Warrior marathon all day, and it's gotten me thinking about the subject once again. It's really is the most difficult physical competition I've ever seen. Some may say that the Olympics holds that title, but I say it doesn't since Olympic gold medalists have showed up to Ninja Warrior and never succeeded. That's not to say that they didn't do well, but The onyl two guys who ever finsihed the entire course were both fishermen, so what's that tell you?

The women's competition though has had the same champion 3 times in a row, Ayako Miyake. She's an acrobat, and kicks ass every time she competes. What's funny though is that she never appears to be the physically superior type. In fact when i saw her for the first time, I thought she looked like she had a horrible krack problem. But damn can she perform. Her streak was broken in the last competition, she lost her balance on a beam and fell intot he water. The shock and dismay of the audience was incredible, nobody thought she'd fall, she never had before.

G4 has really been pushing the latest competition all week. The last two competitions (2 a year), G4 has held a contest to let viewers submit tapes of themselves doing athletic stuff, and then other viewers vote for who they want to see compete at the next Ninja Warrior. Lat time they sent two guys over, and both of them were really cool, really likeable guys. However the entire competition was a bust, and both of them fell where somethng like 80% of all the other competators fell. The obstacle that kept knocking everyone out was deemed BS by everyone. Basically you had to run up to a trampoline, jumps, and land inside two vertical walls and hold yourself up. Only a handful of guys made it through and they didn't get much farther after that. One guy I was suprised ot see go down was Paul Terek. He's a huge (by japanese standards) guy who's competed in the olympics. His first Ninja Warrior appearance (video here) was incredible, and I really thought he had the build to conquer that obstacle.

This year apparently, one of the guys who won the G4 competiton did really well, though I haven't heard if he won, but I doubt he did. Winning Ninja Warrior is like... next to impossible. Consider that out of over 2,000 attempts, only 2 men have ever won. I can't wait to see the new one. If you have G4, it's on at 8pm this Sunday. If you don't have G4, you can chekc out lots of clips and highlights on youtube or google videos.





May-12-2008

It's not often that I can look at a game and really feel moved. Moreso, it's not often that I can look at a game and feel much of anything. There are so many games, in fact, 98% of games, are just a tweak of another game. We see the same thing over and over with one or two noticable differences here and there. Games like Ico, Shadow of the Colossus, Metal Gear Solid, and even Gran Turismo are perfect examples of truely original games. What makes these games and games of the same calibur so special is that they didn't jsut break new ground. They reinvented the ground, and then broke it. No half-assing, no short cuts, no sacrificing, the original idea is what made it to the final product, which is a very difficult tack to pull-off. For these reasons, I was thrilled when i first read about "Mirror's Edge."

"Mirror's Edge" takes place (as I red it) in a post-modern city run by a corrupt, tyranical government. Resistance groups have formed, but with all communications monitored, there's only one way to get messages between groups, foot messengers. However, the government knows about these messengers, and takes every opporunity to intercept them. As one of these messengers, you have to bolt across the city, evading police, and covering ground as fast and effiently as possible. Weapons weigh you down, so if you encounter police, you have to make due with what you have right there, be it your fists, or their guns.

Just on paper, this already sounds like a great idea. Then, once I saw the video for it, I got really excited. As a day-dreamers of high rank, I know exactly the thought process that went into conceiving this game. Were I a game designer, I probably wouldn't have done it any differently. The premis is basic, and the method is straight forard. the challenge lies in how fast you can make your decisions. When you see the way this girl runs, you can see taht there's no time to stop and think, go back, and follow a good route. You have to come up with your route on the fly, and take each obstacle as it comes to you. This is the reason why I continue to play games, for when thigns like this come out. Love it!

Making a case for my SNESp is without question, the hardest part of this whole project. Large sheets of plastic aren't as readily available as one would think, and are hard to cut right once you get them. Arg!



May-07-2008

I love it when things I do have results that matter. You may recall last month i psoted about the horrible comic section in The Albuquerque Journal. At the same time, I had written a letter to the editor expressing my opinion on the matter. Today i picked up the paper and, holy freaking crap, there's a new section to the page. In a black box there's two comic strips, one old and one new, with the caption "Think you know funny?" Now, every month, they're going to have two comic strips compete, and whichever gets the most votes takes over the spot. AWESOME! They even started off with one of my most hated cartoons, Gasoline Alley, which is competing with oen called Pickles. It's a fairly standard comic with fairly standard jokes, but next to Gasoline Alley it's a friggin' laugh riot. Next month they're doing Hi And Lois vs. Get Fuzzy. That's a trickier one. Hi And Lois isn't nearly as funny as it once was, but it's not bad. But I do predict that Get Fuzzy is gonna win, that comic is pretty good.

A comic that comes through for me every day though is F Minus. It's kinda like Bound and Gagged, being a one-panel/wide-strip comic. The art is very smooth and well done, and the jokes are all very original. Today's had a guy at his office dressed in a Sombrero and Poncho saying "Cinco means Five?" Now THAT'S Funny! For your enjoyment, here's a link to the comics.com F Minus page. You can use the callendar below to go through the previous comics, 4/29 is my favorite so far.

In other dumb news that's gonna make me sound like a Gathy Griffin weirdo, what's the freakin' deal with this Miley Cyrus picture? Oh dear God, you can see her back! My innocence has been stolen from me! When I saw the pciture, I saw a girl covering herself up with a sheet, and her bare upper-back exposed in a "not even that attractive" pose. Whoopdeedamndoo. But people are arguing that she's only 15, and because there's no bra strap that she might be topless, and it implies that she's naked under the sheets. Well, then go turn yourselves in, because you're the sick fucks thinking about a 15 year old girl naked under silk sheets. Of course she's not naked, this has been disputed before. If the girl being photographed is under-age, the she must be covered-up within the limits that the law prescribes for public exposure. I gaurantee she was wearing a front-covering tie-top and jeans. In fact, if you look closely at the picture, it looks like her hair is just barely covering a black neck strap. People need to get a friggin' grip.

This whole thing reminded of a Dave Chappelle act I once saw, where he talked about a similar topic, citing the R. Kelly case where Kelly was accused of peeing on a 15 year old girl. People said that not only was she under-age, but she was too young to make a logical decission as to whether or not to participate in being peed on. Chappelle acknowledged that kids below the age of 18 may have less capable decission making skills, but that those skills don't really improve much past 18. He also argued that when he was 15, he wouldn't have to stop and think about how he felt toward somebody peeing on him. What this means is that Miley Cyrus may only be 15, but if she was in-fact told to be naked, then she'd have the mental capabilities and legal backing to say "No," and leave, and nobody would think less of her for it.

The other issue that I have to point out the dumbness of is MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) protesting "Grand Theft Auto IV" (and trying to get the rating raised to AO, Adult's Only, which would result in major retailers pulling it off the shelves) because you can drive drunk in the game. I'd like to point out the major qualifier "CAN". The game has been occupying the better part of my free time lately, and I recently came across the scenario in question. I took a girl out for a date, and decided to go to a night club. When it came time to take her home, my character was completely hammered drunk (it was automatic, I didn't choose to drink). The character was standing on the sidewalk with his date, stumbling around. The visuals were all distorted, and it was very hard to control him. Now, here's the important part. It seemed like I had no choice but to drive her home, but when I approached my car, a suggestion block came up (common tutorial function of the game) and said, "If you feel that you're too dunk to drive, consider taking a cab home." So I hailed a cab, we got in, I told the driver to drop off my date at her house, and off we went. Now, what, may I ask, was irresponsible about that setup? Not a damn thing. The game ADVISES you to take a cab instead of driving drunk. If anything, it's a passive Public Service Announcement. As the cab was driving them home, you're vision gets more and more skewed, to the point where every light makes a streak across the screen, and objects and people start to fade in and out of view. Meanwhile your heart is pounding, and you can feel it in the controller. I was actually extremely impressed with the whole mechanics of it. There's no WAY I could have driven a car in that state, and when you drive poorly, your date gets scared and it hurts your relationship with her. Since we took a cab, when we got back to her house, I opted to say goodnight and leave(a gentleman must control his urges when under the influence, and over it). This resulted in a relationship boost, and she was happy to go out on another date. So MADD, stop ruining everyone's fun, and go be bitter somewhere else.

Things like this are always a tragic issue when these games come out. I say tragic because it's such a waste of time, and the people making the accusations don't know what the hell they're talking about. I read a news article the other day about Jack Thompson (an infamous lawyer who sues game makers over content, who everyone hates, including the state of Florida, who's DA has been trying to get him disbarred) wrote a letter to the mother of the president of Take-Two, the company that published GTA4. In the letter he compares her son to Hitler, and the game buyers to the Hitler Youth. Who's really fucked up here? The kid playing a game where he kills people, or a grown man harrassing an elderly woman? It's alwasy the smallest mouths that have the biggest voices. Why should anyone give a shit about this guy?

The game itself contains a conversation that is clearly a metaphore for the controversey that has always surrounded GTA games. The main character and one of his employers are having a discussion about their decissions to make a living off of crime. They compare the lifestyle to a game, and the employers finishes by saying "You can chose the game, but when you do, you have to play by the rules." I think that's a powerful statement, and not because it backs-up the argument that nobody is forced to play these games. What I like is the "play by the rules" aspect. In GTA, the rules say that you have to commit crimes to advance. If you don't want to follow that rule, then you can't play. If you can't play, then you return the game, and buy one with rules that you can follow. It's just that easy.



May-04-2008

If i were to give today's post a title, it would be "This is why we can't have nice things." This is a phrase often used in the Air Force as a joke in response to someone doing something irresponsible. For example, somebody is having a hard time loosening a bolt with a socket wrench. So they get a breaker bar,a dn put so much tourque ont eh wrench that it breaks and the guts of it go everywhere. A nearby person would say "This is why we can't have nice things." The point being that the stupidity and irresponsibility of a few results in the powers that be not trusting anyone with better equipment.

This morning I woke up fairly early for me, and headed out to go see Iron Man, which I have been very much looking forward to. As I'm driving down my street, i go around a curve, and I see a young woman, about my age, running barefoot. Because my car is so low to teh ground it took me a few seconds to see that she was signalling me to stop. I slowed down a bit, becuase nobody tells this guy what to do, and there I saw, about 50 ayrds ahead, a retarted redheaded 2 year old standing in the street, looking at me like I was Teletubbies (the look of a brainwashed kid raised by TV, that is, aka "Duhhh"). Way to go, Mom. Freak out on me because your dumb-ass kid born from your dumb-ass loins escaped and is not trying to get hit by cars.

This incident reminded me of one of the greatest stand-up acts I've ever heard in my life, by Doug Stanhope. Unfortunately, I've had no luck ever finding the exact performance I heard, which was quite different from what you find on YouTube. But oen of his major points was that it's fine if you ahve kids, but your kids should not effect other people. One of the thigns he said was "I shouldn't ahve to drive 15mph past a school because fathead can't be trusted to look both ways before he crosses the street." By teh same token, George Carlin once said "The kid who swallows too many marbles doesn't grow up to have kids of his own." Are these outlandish remarks? Some may say so, but everyone sitting there lsitening thought they were pretty good statements.

So then, I get to the theatre, a little heated up by the previous incident. i went over it in my head again and again, thinking about how maybe I should have fakey swerved toward the kid to freak out both the mother and the kid into being more responsible. Hitting the kid would have been passive eugenics. I can't remember a time in my life when I didn't know that the street ws off-limits. To this day, standing in the street feels very weird to me, it's an off-limits zone in my head. Anyway, I got to the theatre. As I'm looking for a parking space, yet another kid runs out in front of me. Do these retard morons not at least hear my engine? I guess they're idiot brains can only think "Iron Man!" Behind him was a gaggle-fuck of about 5 more kids and one father figure. It took the kid about 5 seconds on his own to think "oh crap, I don't think i'm supposed to be in the middle of the parking lot lane", turn around and see me waiting begrudgingly for him to MOVE! So I go park and walk to the ticket window, which is outside. When i'm about 10 feet from getting in line, 2 of the 6 kid parade ran in front of me. When i get aggitated my reaction is to just zone out and ignore everything before i lose my freaking mind and ruin everyone's day. So i jsut let the retard brigade go ahead of me, so that way by the time i get into the theatre, they should be seated and i'll know where not to sit.

I get into the theatre and it's not nearly as crowded as I thought it'd be. My highly strategic focused mind made what i determined to be a potentiall bad decission, but tried my luck, by sitting ont he right side in the back. The reason this is potentially bad is becuse the only door into the theatre is right behind me, and so anyone comming in late will be prone to sitting right in front of me. Liek clockwork, an 8 foot tall mexican kid sits rigth in front of me, but decided to move after a few sconds. Crisis averted, it's late enough in the movie to not worry about it anymore, let's enjoy the show.

A few rows up from me is another damn 2 year old (i'm surrounded by pre-schoolers today). This kids pays attention only durring big explodies, and the rest of the time tells his mother about how there's metal molding on the wall. Then, also durring calm moments, the retard brigade would be blabbering up a storm down front. But I'll get into the ADD ridden populace in a minute.

About an hour into the movie, a see something white around the corner from the wall I'm up against. What emerged was the most godawefully fat wreck of a woman I've seen in a long time. WHen I say "fat bitch", i don't mean woman with a weight problem, I mean, this woman was a fuckign bitch (which i'm about to discuss), who cleans her plate, eats the plate, and the silverware, and the centerpiece, tablecloth, table, and resturaunt. Guess where she sat! She and her two mal-nourished kids sat right in front of me. The also malnourished father, handed them their drinks and snacks and then sat in a different row (the American Family). Now to make matters worse, this lady was mexican, which means that she smelled like cheese and was rude as shit. When she wasn't talking on ehr cell phone or smacking down ring-dings, she was either breathing like a buffalo or telling her kids to shut up. She didn't even give the kids a chance to say soemthing, just "Mom..." "Shut-up!". "Mom, my foots caught in a beare trap." "Shut-up!" I got up and moved to the opposite side of the theatre, where somebody shit their pants and tried to cover it up with a urinal cake, at least that's my theory.

So the big showdown is over, and it's time for the movie to come to a close. Already, people are getting up and leaving. Yes, surely you, in the Led Zepplin t-shirt and "Fuck You" hat, can't spare two minutes, lest your busy Sunday schedule be thrown out-of whack. The dredits start to role, and people hit the exit like Godzilla jsut stomped through the theatre roof. Why the fuck even bother going to the movies if you're that desperate to leave? Me and the upper 1% stuck around until it was clear that there was no post-credit treats.

I walked back ot my car, and as I got in and got ready to start the car, I saw teh same two ticket line representatives running wildly toward their father's penis-envy compensation truck, with delux oversized golden testicles included (that's not a joke, he really had a golden scrotum hanging off of the trailer hitch). The kids were yelling "I am Iron Man!" There were soon followed by 4 more retards, with no adult in sight, and without delay, one of them got hurt and started screaming and crying, with the rest standing around, mystified. THe father finally shows up with a 1 year old in tow, and asks "Bob, why is your brother crying?" Bob, the predicted future janitor, reveals something about a fight. The father then divies up everyone around the truck, curses at all the kids in a way that at 4 years old, would ahve me me run for my life, certain that my gaurdian was going to kill me, and drove-off, nuts-a-swinging.